Quietjay21's Classroom

This is your class Jay - your tutor will use this topic to teach you about RPing.

Student: quietjay21

Tutor: El Zorro

Alright Jay, let`s see a bit of your RPing first.

Ok. What do you want me to do?

Post a bit of your RPing. I need to see some of your work first. Just write as you normally would.

Jasmine finally came to the end of her little song. She sighed shaking her head. Once again she fingered the piano but stopped. She knew if any of her friends caught her here she would never hear the end of it. Slowly but gracefully she stood up and looked out the window. She watched birds fly from tree to tree.

Once again she sighed but out of jealousy. She wanted to be free like a bird. Sighing one more time she turned towards the door to go out. Her eyes widened as she saw someone standing there. One of the prince's of the school, Shane. She mentally scowled and and rolled her eyes. He wasn't her favorite person. Even though she didn't know him personally she couldn't stand that he let grils throw themselves all over him.

She noticed he had been watching her. "What do you want" she asked vemonessly as she glared daggers at him. The peaceful girl she once was dissappeared. "Here to amuse yourself by telling me how bad I am" she asked still glaring at him. "Well I really don't want to hear it" she said turning away from the door. Slowly she walked back to the window sill and sat on it staring into space trying to forget what just happened.

Hmmm...I saw no details left out. You did well, I saw no reason to say it was bad. I may need to bring in another opinion.

Ok.

Alright Jay, with alittle help from the boss of the academy, we see that you use more periods than are needed. Try putting some of your sentences together and also put periods after someone speaks.

Just to say, the period should go inside the quote marks.

Ok.

Ok then, lets see you try again, keep those things in mind and give it your best shot.

Jasmine walked down the quiet, empty hallway. Her shoes where squeaking with every step she took and she sighed out of annoyance. "Stupid shoes." she said quietly and came to a stop infront of a locker. She put in her combination and opened her neatly organized locker. Putting the books that were in her arms in her locker and took out new ones for her next class. She quietly closed her locker and walked off to her next class which was Math. The reason she was late was because she had voice lessons with her choir teacher.

Not too bad. You didn`t leave out any details that I could see. You did better with the periods, but I have a suggestion, I`ll give you an example of what I mean. You wrote: "Her shoes were squeaking with each step she took and she sighed out of annoyance."
I think it would be better put as this: "Her shoes squeaked with each step she took, as she let out a sigh of annoyance."

I have a thought, lets do a short RPG here in the classroom. Ok, lets do the scene where Kagome and Inuyasha meet. I`ll let you start, pick whichever character you want to be. (Kagome or Inuyasha.) Take your time, think about what you write, and read it before you post it.