Dra'kesh's Classroom

Dra'kesh, this is your classroom - your tutor will use this topic to teach you about RPing.

Student: Dra'kesh

Tutor: Hades Puppet

Alright. -takes a big breath-

Since I am here first, I will make an introduction. My username on Inuyasha.nu is Yuuai-Hime. You might have heard of me from my big brother. (Edge Vanhite) You may call me Yuuai, or Yu-chan, whichever seems the most fit for you. After introductions, I would like a sample of what you can do to begin with. Don't worry, I won't judge in a bad way. I, like the other instructors here, are only here to help.

I know more than you can ever imagine

Perhaps, perhaps not. If you are indeed a beginner, I would frankly like to see a sample of your writing.

Here it goes : A little kid walked in a street of darkness... "Where are you going? " a dark voice asked .. The kid gasped... Scared the kid looked around to see who just talked.. and then... *censore*

I am going to suppose this is to the best of your ability. Very well then, I would like to point out a few things here. First of all, proper RPing is like writing a story or perhaps a paragraph. You need to use the correct sentence structure. Multiple periods can be used later on. But for now, let's focus on the basics.

Another thing I would like to help you work on is detail. Your sample is not bad, to tell the truth but you need to add detail to make it exciting.

For example:

A little kid walked down a street that was completly drowned in darkness.

"Where are you going?" a dark voice asked.

The kid gasped, and feeling scared he turned around to see who just talked. Then....



Try and leave out **'s when you write.

I was thinking about how this academy phails but now i see how wrong i was

ok.. here comes new sample.. i try it with your teachings

it's a text ripped from context "in the creepy cave you will find a golden egg of merit... Don't forget to remind my poor daughter Lilia about your glorious victory when you return back to this clumsy old house ! "

I see improvement. However, try and leave out multiple periods unless you have a specific purpose about them. Proper capitalization and grammatical structure is needed.

"In the creepy cave you will find a golden egg of merit. Don't forget to remind my poor daughter Lilia about your glorious victory, when you return back to this clumsy old house!"

Periods ? Can you show me a sample ?

Alright. What would you like to see?

Erm.. post a some period sample about how it should look

Hmm. That is still very vague. But it is do-able. When someone is hesitant in a RP, for example, you can use multiple periods to show that they haven't formulated their thoughts completly yet.

Example:

Jasper winced at the memory of last night's battle. The silver spear that dug into his side was still there, constantly reminding him of what war felt like. He detested his weakness at not being able to block that blunt weapon. Now, he was left with nothing but a lack of stamina. "Gosh...I hate myself...How could I be so stupid?!" he whispered fiercely to himself. Even as he spoke, the stinging pain refused to leave him.

here it comes

"Another lame Dreanay ?! " Dave lowered his head and sighted. He took his shotgun , aiming on the head of that filthy creature and fired.The flesh and blood was everywhere.. splattered on the whole floor . Dave fastly reloaded his weapon and walked towards the old wooden doors , he slowly opened them and looked around.

Great improvement. You deserve some applause for this Dra'kesh. But do try to stay within the same tense in a single sentence. Just as a side note, fastly is not a real word in English. We use quickly instead. Perhaps your post could be something like this:

"Another lame Dreanay?!" Dave lowered his head and sighed. He took his shotgun, aimed it at the head of that filthy creature and fired. The flesh and blood splattered everywhere on the floor. Dave quickly reloaded his weapon and walked towards the old wooden doors. He slowly opened them and looked around.

I will *nods*

Good. Now let's try a little RP together. I believe you will begin, for the one that starts leads the story.

Ok

"Here is the piece for Elena , my wife ,for GItti , my precious daughter and here is the biggest and finnal piece for myself " John smirked when he carved the big piece of a chocolate cake

(This stands for out of conversation. When you want to chat outside of an RP, use this.) OOC: Overall, it is fabulous. But do watch your spelling, and try to not jam everything into one single sentence please.

Elena shook her head as she regarded John's actions. "You are indeed greeting my dear." she said in a teasing voice. "The biggest and final piece is to be for youself? What of your precious young daughter Gitti? Shouldn't that piece of cake be left for her?"

John blinked at Elena and with a wide smile answered "The father needs to be strong for his night shift " . John took one of the piece and ate it . "So Gitti , how goes it in school , how cool was your first day there ? John asked and with curiosity he stared at her.

OOC: There is improvement. But you still need to shape your sentences a little. Here is how I would have written your reply:

John blinked at Elena, and with a wide smile he answered. "The father needs to be strong for his night shift." John took one of the pieces and ate it. "So Gitti, how is it going in school? How cool was your first day there?" John asked and looked at her with curiosity.

Please put the period inside the speech marks, and make sure to structure your sentences in the proper order. That way, the reader will not get confused.


My reply:

Elena shook her head again. John was always finding excuses for himself. As much as she detested that side about him, it was also something that she adored. The mother then turned to Gitti and smiled. "Yes Gitti, why don't you tell us about your day?"

Gitti pondered for a few minutes. "It was good." she said and left it at that. There was simply nothing to recount.

OOC : Last post of me today

John looked at the time on his phone and sighted
"well i must go to work " he said with a said face and kissed both, Elena and Gitti
He stood up from the table and walked into the house for his jacket and work equipment

OOC: Alright. Once again, please watch your spelling and capitalization.

How I would have written it:

John looked at the time on his phone and sighed. "Well I must go to work." he said with a sad face and kissed both Elena and Gitti. He stood up from the table and walked into the house for his jacket and work equipment.

My reply:

"Yes dear. We will see you in the morning." Elena said as she looked at his retreating back. She put a hand on Gitti's shoulder and mentioned for their daughter to eat another piece of cake.

"Bye daddy..." Gitti said, a little sad that her father would be working on her birthday.

We can continue

OOC: Of course. But it will be brief because I have class soon, but we can continue nonetheless. We will work on the length of your posts after the grammar section is finished. This is just to give you a heads up.

OOC : Ok lets keep it for some other timé